Super Tuesday

Today is Super Tuesday in the USA. But you know, isn't every Tuesday super in its way? I decided to find out. I did a Wikipedia search for 'Tuesday' and the very first line revealed that it is between Monday and Wednesday. For that alone, Tuesday deserves recognition. You see, what most people don't know is that if you go way back before the One True God came along and killed all the other namby-pamby, left-wing, lily-livered, girlie liberal gods, the days of the week were actually deities.

There were nine of them back then. The other two were Yesterday and Today and they came between Thursday and Friday. Back then, the Days did very little except lounge around, watching the sun set and then rise again without it ever occurring to them to do something to mark its efforts.

The few hundred humans who lived back then didn't mind at all. But it has to be said they were pretty stupid at the time. They were happy, though.

But nothing that good can last. The Days started forming cliques. Friday, Saturday and Sunday started to spend a lot of time together. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday went off on their own. That left Tuesday, Today and Yesterday to form an uneasy triumvirate. They didn't really like each other but none of them wanted to be left out completely.

But then a terrible row started between Monday and Wednesday. Wednesday claimed no one liked Monday and Monday came back with the dig that at least no one was indifferent to her as they were to Wednesday. After a few drinks the argument escalated and they started brawling. Only Tuesday and Sunday were around to stop it and Sunday refused to get up and do anything on principle. So that left Tuesday to break them up and he's been in between them ever since, keeping them at a safe distance from each other. It isn't much fun for him, but then that's Tuesday all over, isn't it? Never complaining. Always there, doing his job.

Saturday and Sunday hooked up soon after that as they were both as lazy as each other. Friday was Saturday's best friend and always hung around him and Thursday and Friday got on well as both quite liked to let their hair down every now and again. Yesterday and Today kept vanishing off together. No one ever knew what they were up to and after a while no one cared.

Then the sun came along on his way home from work and sat there sighing heavily until someone asked him what the matter was. It turned out he felt unappreciated. He worked bloody hard but no one seemed to notice. The humans on the earth couldn't care less whether it was sunny or dark.

The Days quite liked the sun and so they got together and decided to help him out. Sunday was the first to pay the humans a visit but she sat around most of the day just drinking with them. Then came Monday and she soon cracked the whip: do this; do that! she started shouting. The humans very quickly took a firm disliking to her but she didn't care about that.

Tuesday followed and everyone relaxed a little bit but deep down started to look forward to the next time Sunday would come by.

Wednesday was next and by then people had got over the shock of Monday and had settled into a steady rhythm.

After Wednesday, Thursday came down and people felt quite relaxed around him. A few of them even went out after work with him for a few beers; but only a few as no one knew what to expect from Friday.

Friday was a blast! First of all he told them that they still had to work but when the other Days were not looking he whispered that if they wanted to start winding down they could: he wouldn't say anything. That night they went nuts and got really very drunk.

Saturday saw the state everyone was in and unable to get them up said 'screw it' let's all play football or something and everyone agreed.

And that's pretty much how it stayed. Saturday has since turned into a bit of a jerk. For some reason he expects people to work when he's around no matter how hungover they are and even Sunday has decided she wants people to do their fair share for her, too. But essentially not much has changed. Monday and Wednesday still hate each other and Tuesday is still doing his quiet job keeping the peace between them. And it's nice he gets such days to himself as Super Tuesday and Shrove Tuesday.

The last the Days heard of Yesterday and Today they had got married and had a kid, which they named Tomorrow.